sometimes when i open my mouth, my mother comes out this shocked me, at first though I see I can look upon it as a gift
born of her flesh I have listened to her heart from the inside and now her voice speaks through me
she comes out as sound, an intonation as a punctuated force of emotion
she comes out as a pregnant silence that originates in the abyss of my womb
it portends a bursting forth of unalloyed pleasure in the form of exuberant laughter or sometimes an ancestral cry, a tormenting howl of the deepest pain
(she always said I sounded like a banshee)
ban she? oh no. not possible. the pure potency of her love is too strong, too steadfast to ever be silenced
or kept undercover for long
she is a force of nature. and that’s the way I love her.
she comes out as utter sass, full cheek, left and right she comes out in a soft whisper and a patient sigh she comes out in a song hummed under her breath she comes out with a grrrrr! of frustrated angst she comes out as a giggle, a girlish dialect of fun she comes out with a rhetorical question ‘I am, am I?’
sometimes she comes slowly consciously bringing forth the best of her heart’s wisdom at other times, with lightning speed, like a whip, she comes
and cracks at any hint of dishonesty or hidden agenda
I am learning to let it all be music to my ears.
for she is composed of the finest notes arranged in an exceptionally creative progression always expressing, essentially, nothing but love.
and I hope that she sees, that she hears, that she knows, that that same love is what she is.
therein lies the gift.
- FMH
(repost from my former blog - Antelope, 2014)
